101. No kid sees an impending spanking as "good news."
Christians have been given the job of bringing the "Good News" to the world. The people we are in charge of bringing that news to the most are the ones closest to us. Everything we do with our children from the day they're born is telling them news of some sort. If when you were a child someone came and told you that your parents had found out something you'd done and that they were coming to "give you a good spanking" you didn't consider that to be, "Good News."
102. The ancient Jews (who wrote those "rod" verses in the Bible) didn't strike their children to discipline them because they didn't understand those verses that way.
103. The modern practice of "spanking" actually came from pagan religion.
"From its earliest practice, in Ancient Greece, spankings were administered to adults. It was a pagan practice for increasing fertility in barren women who were spanked by the pagan priests. Later, it was introduced into the Catholic Church as a means for adult women to have their sins removed by the priest spanking them after confession. In pre-WWII Britain the practice was expanded to wayward teenage girls in the tradition of the removal of sins.
The first time the idea was introduced that spankings are never to be given in anger, but rather in love, it was as the advertising pitch for the book “Spencer Spanking Plan”. That book put forth the instructions for spankings of husbands and wives within marriage in order to increase marital harmony. The key here, whether the spanking was administered for fertility, punishment, or fun, is that the person being spanked was willing."
And, as Christian parents, we're called to be separate from the practices of the world...
104. When someone is a held prisoner they don't normally call in someone to "punish" them but send in people to save them. We needed a savior to be born because we were held captive by sin.
As parents we are to model Christ. Christ saved us from the sins that had us enslaved...and He did so not by punishing us or "giving us a consequence" that involved US suffering. The consequence of our sins was that HE suffered...and in that suffering we were healed and set free from our captor: sin.
What parents who spank really fail to realize is that sin IS the punishment. The enslavement to sin IS the punishment.
105. We're not instructed to "train our children up in the way they shouldn't go."
Punitive parenting focuses on acting in our children's lives when they do something they shouldn't. It puts our focus on the things they do wrong and punishing them when they do wrong. It puts our focus on what they should NOT do and it puts their focus there as well.
The Biblical instruction is to show them the way TO go...not the way to NOT go.
So, when our child makes a bad choice...and we hit/spank them for it our focus is making it clear to them to NOT go that way. Punishment approaches the negative.
Discipline...and discipleship...is about leading our children in the way they should go.
106. I will have to deal with your child as an adult. And, sometimes I'm going to have conflict with your child. Your child might be my husband, my boss, my best friend, a store clerk, or a random guy on the street who I just pulled out in front of. Whoever your child is to me someday, I may have conflict with them. I may do things they don't like or approve of and how you train them to deal with that is training them how to treat me.
If the way you raise your child is that if they break a rule or cross a line that they get "punished" (hit/spanked) then that is what's going to be "in" them when they deal with me. They're going to be more likely to lash out at me in whatever way is appropriate for the situation. If we're drunk together in a bar, maybe they'll just hit me. If I'm a subordinate at work maybe they'll cut my hours. If I'm just some random person on the street maybe they'll give me the finger. Whatever the situation, if they've been trained that offenses call for "punishment" they're going to give me a bad day.
Even if you spank only as a "last resort" this keeps that "punishment" option on the table and again, it will just mean that it might take a little longer till they react to me in that way. Maybe if we're drunk in a bar together, I'll really REALLLLLY have to push them or irritate them before they hit me. Maybe I'll have to do the same thing wrong 10 times at work before they dock my hours. It still means that the future adult you're raising is going to look at me and the things I do wrong as someone they need to "punish" and that means that they will upset me, be mean to me, and make my life hard when they think it's appropriate.
107. War. You know that wars will break out officially once all attempts at negotiations have been exhausted. Like the people who claim to use force (spanking) as a "last resort" wars break out once they run out of words.
We are raising up the future leaders of our world and what if they were never spanked "as a last resort?" What if they were never made to comply "with force?" What if they had been trained their whole lives to never give up on the relationship and negotiations? Imagine all the lives it would save if no world leaders ever thought that using force "as a last resort" was an acceptable option?
108. The popular admonition to "spank our children in love" and never in anger is not found in the Bible. How and when did God "hit?" Striking in love would surely be a concept that's clearly demonstrated in the Bible by our Father...
Let's look at some (not all) of the verses...
Hmmm…Seems like when God strikes...hits..."spanks"...His children...He does it in anger/wrath.
AND...He does it only...in the Old Testament.
Modern Christian parents want to claim that they spanking because God tells them to and they "spank in love" but if you want to see what God does "in love" just look at the life of Jesus...and look at Jesus on the cross.
So, as far as the "spanking in love" argument goes...it is not Biblical. If you wanna say you spanking because of the Bible then you must do it as the Bible demonstrates God doing it: in anger. If you cannot come to peace with spanking in anger, then, perhaps you either need to stop spanking...or you need to...stop spanking!
In case those verses aren't enough to demonstrate that God never "hits" in love…here's a few more verses...
1. Numbers 25:11, 2 Kings 22:17, 2 Chronicles 12:7, 2 Chronicles 34:25, Job 42:7, Psalm 138:7, Isaiah 48:9, Isaiah 60:10, Isaiah 63:3, Isaiah 63:5, Isaiah 63:6, Jeremiah 4:4, Jeremiah 7:20, Jeremiah 21:5, Jeremiah 21:12, Jeremiah 25:15, Jeremiah 32:31, Jeremiah 32:37, Jeremiah 33:5, Jeremiah 42:18, Jeremiah 44:6, Ezekiel 5:13, Ezekiel 6:12, Ezekiel 7:8, Ezekiel 7:14, Ezekiel 8:18, Ezekiel 9:8, Ezekiel 13:13, Ezekiel 13:15, Ezekiel 14:19, Ezekiel 20:8, Ezekiel 20:13, Ezekiel 20:21, Ezekiel 21:17, Ezekiel 21:31, Ezekiel 22:20, Ezekiel 22:21, Ezekiel 22:22, Ezekiel 22:31, Ezekiel 23:25, Ezekiel 24:13, Ezekiel 25:14, Ezekiel 25:17, Ezekiel 30:15, Ezekiel 36:6, Ezekiel 36:18, Ezekiel 38:19, Hosea 5:10, Hosea 11:9, Hosea 13:11, Zechariah 6:8, Hebrews 3:11, Hebrews 4:3
Here's a good post by Dulcé de Leche on, "Spanking in Anger."
The way God "struck" in the New Testament is seen on the cross. God "struck" Himself. He took all of our sins upon Himself and by His wounds we are healed.
The way that God "spanks in love" is by doing all the suffering HIMSELF and forgiving the transgressor. The way God "spanks in love" is by forgiveness and by NOT "spanking" us...
As noted in three of the gospels...
109. Even dogs can be trained without being hit. If you've ever watched an episode of the "Dog Whisperer" you will see that even dogs, who don't have the capability of reasoning, can be trained without "corporal punishment." He sometimes pokes them to "get their attention" but the point of his poking is not to cause pain or punish but to redirect their attention.
If you watch this show the dogs you will see that the dogs needing trained will not just be "puppies in need of training" but they are dogs who somehow grew up and have become very maladapted adult dogs. They can be aggressive and are usually totally out of control. Yet, focusing on the "leader" changing THEIR behavior...and getting THEMSELVES into control and teaching them a few techniques on "leadership"...the dogs bad behavior disappears.
Are we to believe that even dogs who have no ability to reason can be trained...even once they're "old dogs" and have been raised and turned out "bad"...can be trained without ever striking them...but humans who are still young and have the ability to reason must be struck?
Are we to believe that the one on the left can be taught without "spanking" but that the one on the right MUST be "spanked" in order to learn? REALLY?!
110. We are to teach our children how to properly be "subject to one another" so that the world can see who God is through how we interact with one another. The way we treat each other directly reflects on God.
When we are raised being spanked and punished for all we do it makes it difficult to "be subject to one another" because we are always judging and expecting others to be punished.
111. We parents are training up future husbands who are told to love their lives in a way that never is to involve punishing them. In Ephesians 5 husbands are instructed that, "...as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,"
How was the church subject to Christ? The church was the subject of greatest importance to Christ, wasn't it? It was the subject of His giving up His life in heaven to come to earth. It was the subject Christ lived...and died for. The church was the center of all His activities. His whole purpose for existence on earth was to love, sanctify and cleanse the church.
And, Jesus "learned to do this" where? He said:
Jesus "learned to do this" by seeing His father do it...or at least that's the message He wanted us to get from that.
So, the way a Christian father parents his son should teach him by example...to someday give himself up and devote himself fully to his wife. The way a Christian father parents his son should teach him to sacrifice for, live and die for, sanctify, and cleanse his wife someday. And, I would have to ask how does "spanking" model this? It doesn't.
Christians have been given the job of bringing the "Good News" to the world. The people we are in charge of bringing that news to the most are the ones closest to us. Everything we do with our children from the day they're born is telling them news of some sort. If when you were a child someone came and told you that your parents had found out something you'd done and that they were coming to "give you a good spanking" you didn't consider that to be, "Good News."
Isaiah 52:7
How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation, And says to Zion, “Your God reigns!”
Isaiah 61:1
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners
Nahum 1:15
Behold, on the mountains the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace!
Luke 2:9-11
And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.
(Note: it doesn't say that a judge has been born today...but a Savior!)
102. The ancient Jews (who wrote those "rod" verses in the Bible) didn't strike their children to discipline them because they didn't understand those verses that way.
103. The modern practice of "spanking" actually came from pagan religion.
"From its earliest practice, in Ancient Greece, spankings were administered to adults. It was a pagan practice for increasing fertility in barren women who were spanked by the pagan priests. Later, it was introduced into the Catholic Church as a means for adult women to have their sins removed by the priest spanking them after confession. In pre-WWII Britain the practice was expanded to wayward teenage girls in the tradition of the removal of sins.
The first time the idea was introduced that spankings are never to be given in anger, but rather in love, it was as the advertising pitch for the book “Spencer Spanking Plan”. That book put forth the instructions for spankings of husbands and wives within marriage in order to increase marital harmony. The key here, whether the spanking was administered for fertility, punishment, or fun, is that the person being spanked was willing."
And, as Christian parents, we're called to be separate from the practices of the world...
2 Corinthians 6:17
“Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,” says the Lord.
Ephesians 5:6-12
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.
James 1:27
Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
104. When someone is a held prisoner they don't normally call in someone to "punish" them but send in people to save them. We needed a savior to be born because we were held captive by sin.
John 8:34
Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin.
Romans 6:6
knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin
Romans 6:17
But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed
As parents we are to model Christ. Christ saved us from the sins that had us enslaved...and He did so not by punishing us or "giving us a consequence" that involved US suffering. The consequence of our sins was that HE suffered...and in that suffering we were healed and set free from our captor: sin.
What parents who spank really fail to realize is that sin IS the punishment. The enslavement to sin IS the punishment.
1 Peter 2:24
...and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.
105. We're not instructed to "train our children up in the way they shouldn't go."
Punitive parenting focuses on acting in our children's lives when they do something they shouldn't. It puts our focus on the things they do wrong and punishing them when they do wrong. It puts our focus on what they should NOT do and it puts their focus there as well.
The Biblical instruction is to show them the way TO go...not the way to NOT go.
So, when our child makes a bad choice...and we hit/spank them for it our focus is making it clear to them to NOT go that way. Punishment approaches the negative.
Discipline...and discipleship...is about leading our children in the way they should go.
106. I will have to deal with your child as an adult. And, sometimes I'm going to have conflict with your child. Your child might be my husband, my boss, my best friend, a store clerk, or a random guy on the street who I just pulled out in front of. Whoever your child is to me someday, I may have conflict with them. I may do things they don't like or approve of and how you train them to deal with that is training them how to treat me.
If the way you raise your child is that if they break a rule or cross a line that they get "punished" (hit/spanked) then that is what's going to be "in" them when they deal with me. They're going to be more likely to lash out at me in whatever way is appropriate for the situation. If we're drunk together in a bar, maybe they'll just hit me. If I'm a subordinate at work maybe they'll cut my hours. If I'm just some random person on the street maybe they'll give me the finger. Whatever the situation, if they've been trained that offenses call for "punishment" they're going to give me a bad day.
Even if you spank only as a "last resort" this keeps that "punishment" option on the table and again, it will just mean that it might take a little longer till they react to me in that way. Maybe if we're drunk in a bar together, I'll really REALLLLLY have to push them or irritate them before they hit me. Maybe I'll have to do the same thing wrong 10 times at work before they dock my hours. It still means that the future adult you're raising is going to look at me and the things I do wrong as someone they need to "punish" and that means that they will upset me, be mean to me, and make my life hard when they think it's appropriate.
107. War. You know that wars will break out officially once all attempts at negotiations have been exhausted. Like the people who claim to use force (spanking) as a "last resort" wars break out once they run out of words.
We are raising up the future leaders of our world and what if they were never spanked "as a last resort?" What if they were never made to comply "with force?" What if they had been trained their whole lives to never give up on the relationship and negotiations? Imagine all the lives it would save if no world leaders ever thought that using force "as a last resort" was an acceptable option?
108. The popular admonition to "spank our children in love" and never in anger is not found in the Bible. How and when did God "hit?" Striking in love would surely be a concept that's clearly demonstrated in the Bible by our Father...
Let's look at some (not all) of the verses...
Deuteronomy 9:8
...the Lord was so angry with you that He would have destroyed you.
Deuteronomy 9:19
For I was afraid of the anger and hot displeasure with which the Lord was wrathful against you in order to destroy you...
2 Kings 22:17
...therefore My wrath burns against this place, and it shall not be quenched...
2 Chronicles 34:25
...My wrath will be poured out on this place and it shall not be quenched.”’
Job 42:7
...the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends, because you have not spoken of Me what is right as My servant Job has.
Isaiah 60:10
“...For in My wrath I struck you...
Isaiah 63:3
“...I also trod them in My anger and trampled them in My wrath..."
Isaiah 63:6
“I trod down the peoples in My anger and made them drunk in My wrath, and I poured out their lifeblood on the earth.”
Jeremiah 4:4
“...Or else My wrath will go forth like fire And burn with none to quench it, Because of the evil of your deeds.”
Jeremiah 7:20
Therefore thus says the Lord GOD, “Behold, My anger and My wrath will be poured out on this place, on man and on beast and on the trees of the field and on the fruit of the ground; and it will burn and not be quenched.”
Jeremiah 21:5
I Myself will war against you with an outstretched hand and a mighty arm, even in anger and wrath and great indignation.
Jeremiah 32:37
Behold, I will gather them out of all the lands to which I have driven them in My anger, in My wrath and in great indignation...
Jeremiah 33:5
‘...men whom I have slain in My anger and in My wrath'...
Jeremiah 42:18
For thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, “As My anger and wrath have been poured out on the inhabitants of Jerusalem, so My wrath will be poured out on you when you enter Egypt..."
Jeremiah 44:6
Therefore My wrath and My anger were poured out and burned in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem...
Ezekiel 5:13
‘Thus My anger will be spent and I will satisfy My wrath on them, and I will be appeased; then they will know that I, the LORD, have spoken in My zeal when I have spent My wrath upon them.
Ezekiel 6:12
...I spend My wrath on them.
Hosea 13:11
I gave you a king in My anger and took him away in My wrath.
Hmmm…Seems like when God strikes...hits..."spanks"...His children...He does it in anger/wrath.
AND...He does it only...in the Old Testament.
Modern Christian parents want to claim that they spanking because God tells them to and they "spank in love" but if you want to see what God does "in love" just look at the life of Jesus...and look at Jesus on the cross.
So, as far as the "spanking in love" argument goes...it is not Biblical. If you wanna say you spanking because of the Bible then you must do it as the Bible demonstrates God doing it: in anger. If you cannot come to peace with spanking in anger, then, perhaps you either need to stop spanking...or you need to...stop spanking!
In case those verses aren't enough to demonstrate that God never "hits" in love…here's a few more verses...
1. Numbers 25:11, 2 Kings 22:17, 2 Chronicles 12:7, 2 Chronicles 34:25, Job 42:7, Psalm 138:7, Isaiah 48:9, Isaiah 60:10, Isaiah 63:3, Isaiah 63:5, Isaiah 63:6, Jeremiah 4:4, Jeremiah 7:20, Jeremiah 21:5, Jeremiah 21:12, Jeremiah 25:15, Jeremiah 32:31, Jeremiah 32:37, Jeremiah 33:5, Jeremiah 42:18, Jeremiah 44:6, Ezekiel 5:13, Ezekiel 6:12, Ezekiel 7:8, Ezekiel 7:14, Ezekiel 8:18, Ezekiel 9:8, Ezekiel 13:13, Ezekiel 13:15, Ezekiel 14:19, Ezekiel 20:8, Ezekiel 20:13, Ezekiel 20:21, Ezekiel 21:17, Ezekiel 21:31, Ezekiel 22:20, Ezekiel 22:21, Ezekiel 22:22, Ezekiel 22:31, Ezekiel 23:25, Ezekiel 24:13, Ezekiel 25:14, Ezekiel 25:17, Ezekiel 30:15, Ezekiel 36:6, Ezekiel 36:18, Ezekiel 38:19, Hosea 5:10, Hosea 11:9, Hosea 13:11, Zechariah 6:8, Hebrews 3:11, Hebrews 4:3
Here's a good post by Dulcé de Leche on, "Spanking in Anger."
The way God "struck" in the New Testament is seen on the cross. God "struck" Himself. He took all of our sins upon Himself and by His wounds we are healed.
The way that God "spanks in love" is by doing all the suffering HIMSELF and forgiving the transgressor. The way God "spanks in love" is by forgiveness and by NOT "spanking" us...
As noted in three of the gospels...
Matthew 18:5-7
And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea...
Mark 9:41-43
“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea...
Luke 17:1-3
He said to His disciples, “...It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble..."
109. Even dogs can be trained without being hit. If you've ever watched an episode of the "Dog Whisperer" you will see that even dogs, who don't have the capability of reasoning, can be trained without "corporal punishment." He sometimes pokes them to "get their attention" but the point of his poking is not to cause pain or punish but to redirect their attention.
If you watch this show the dogs you will see that the dogs needing trained will not just be "puppies in need of training" but they are dogs who somehow grew up and have become very maladapted adult dogs. They can be aggressive and are usually totally out of control. Yet, focusing on the "leader" changing THEIR behavior...and getting THEMSELVES into control and teaching them a few techniques on "leadership"...the dogs bad behavior disappears.
Are we to believe that even dogs who have no ability to reason can be trained...even once they're "old dogs" and have been raised and turned out "bad"...can be trained without ever striking them...but humans who are still young and have the ability to reason must be struck?
Are we to believe that the one on the left can be taught without "spanking" but that the one on the right MUST be "spanked" in order to learn? REALLY?!
110. We are to teach our children how to properly be "subject to one another" so that the world can see who God is through how we interact with one another. The way we treat each other directly reflects on God.
Eph. 5:15-21
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
When we are raised being spanked and punished for all we do it makes it difficult to "be subject to one another" because we are always judging and expecting others to be punished.
111. We parents are training up future husbands who are told to love their lives in a way that never is to involve punishing them. In Ephesians 5 husbands are instructed that, "...as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,"
How was the church subject to Christ? The church was the subject of greatest importance to Christ, wasn't it? It was the subject of His giving up His life in heaven to come to earth. It was the subject Christ lived...and died for. The church was the center of all His activities. His whole purpose for existence on earth was to love, sanctify and cleanse the church.
And, Jesus "learned to do this" where? He said:
John 5:19
Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner."
Jesus "learned to do this" by seeing His father do it...or at least that's the message He wanted us to get from that.
So, the way a Christian father parents his son should teach him by example...to someday give himself up and devote himself fully to his wife. The way a Christian father parents his son should teach him to sacrifice for, live and die for, sanctify, and cleanse his wife someday. And, I would have to ask how does "spanking" model this? It doesn't.
Sons are raised in 90% of households that when someone "sins against them" will not feel naturally that they should sacrifice themselves to reconcile to that person.What will feel natural to them because of years and years of repetitive teaching and training is that that person deserves and requires to be punished.
John 12:47
... did notcome to judge the world, but to save the world.
If a man follows the life of Jesus...who was following what He saw the Father do...he will not feel the need to "fight" with his wife when she sins against him. He will make her the very subject of his life and purpose to sanctify her and cleanse her of whatever it is and to reconcile the relationship at all costs...even to the cost of his life!
This is the example a father who is parenting "God's way" will set!!!
But, when the child raised in a punitive home where the example of his father is to judge and punish those who sin against him...when that child is grown and is now a man dealing with a wife who "sins against him" is he going to approach her the way Christ did the church which had so sinned against Him? Is that man raised punitively going to have the attitude that he is to sacrifice for, sanctify, and cleanse His wife in order to reconcile the relationship? Or, is he going to "hit her back" with a sin of his own...and live in a huge spiral of "hitting back" until they finally divorce?
Many men talk about their callings in life. They think they've been called to be a pastor or been called to be a missionary, or whatever, no one can know but God. But, one thing is for certain that all men are called to the ministry of reconciliation...and men cannot be trained up in the way they should go if their parents are spanking them.
2 Corinthians 5:18
Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation...
112. We parents are raising up future mothers and wives who are given the greatest most powerful weapon against sin in the universe and when we hit them...we disarm them.
What power did Jesus give to women? Most feminists believe Jesus was against women. Most Christian ladies even actually reject anything the Bible says about women in favor of a more "feminist" and "gender neutral" view of women. But, any attempt to look at women as "the same" as men really does women a disservice and lowers their "status."
To men Jesus gave physical might and the ability to wield a sword. But, our struggle is not against flesh and blood, is it? No. To women...He gave the same power He used to defeat the universe's greatest enemy. The same power He chose when He looked at the huge infinite arsenal of weaponry at His disposal and He chose one of them to use to defeat sin and satan. The same power that's been turned into womankind's most dirty word: submission.
Have you ever thought...that to turn submission into a dirty word...and to attempt to change it in any way...is actually looking down on what Christ did? If submission is a shameful thing and we want to reject it...how can we not be rejecting He who submitted to death on the cross, took our shame and healed us with His suffering?
Anything we do with our daughters to raise them up to feel that "submission" is a bad thing...is an insult to the One who used that weapon to save us from death. And, hitting them (spanking them) will do just that.
Best way to defeat an enemy is to disarm them.
Matthew 12:29
Or how can anyone enter the strong man’s house and carry off his property, unless he first binds the strong man? And then he will plunder his house.
Mark 3:27
But no one can enter the strong man’s house and plunder his property unless he first binds the strong man, and then he will plunder his house.
Luke 11:21
When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed.
Ephesians 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
And, so if "someone" wants to come in and plunder our homes spiritually...they first must disarm us. Women must be convinced that the weapon Jesus used to fight the most important and battle in history...the weapon He gave to women..."submission"...is a dirty word...for unenlightened people...who are stuck in the dark ages. Women must be convinced that "submission" is something that it isn't and then...the home...is unprotected.
Women matter that much.
And, one look at the history of mankind in the last 100 years shows ya what happens when women reject this weapon. While it's true that women have been mistreated for eons by men who have taken advantage of us, but, what if the only thing holding things together in the world was us? And, now...it's as tho' everything's come unglued! Divorce! Obesity! Suicide! Depression! Drug addiction! Child abuse! Child on child murders! You name it and it's going crazy...all in the same time period that women have fully rejected being women.
Being spanked by fathers in an authoritarian household does not demonstrate to daughters the power that they have in the world. It does nothing but make them feel the need to rise up and "defend themselves" thus robbing them of the power they have. Modern feminists who have abandoned the traditional women's role in favor of being like a man have become not EMpowered...but DIS-empowered.
If we women read thru this passage with out being defensive...without trying to explain it away that it's something for both men and women...if we look at it thru the eyes of someone receiving the greatest power in the world rather than "being a doormat"...if we read this thru eyes that comprehend it in and authoritative rather than an authoritarian way...just look at the power here...
1 Peter 2-3
For you (women) have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you (women) an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin (Jesus didn't do anything wrong...it wasn't His fault),
...nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled (while He was being accused of stuff He didn't do He didn't fight back), He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously (He remained focused on the Father);
...and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross (He endured the treatment He didn't deserve), so that (satan and sin that had attacked and taken power over us would lose!) we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.
For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. In the same way, you wives, be submissive (quit fighting with and trying to win the arguments with and trying to judge him and punish him for the wrongdoing he does and for all the ways he fails you and sins against you! Quit nagging him and crying and yelling and threatening to leave him!) to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word (if satan has them by the throat and is doing his slimy best to drag your husband to hell!), they may be won (satan's slimy butt will be totally kicked!) without a word by (you using the same powerful weapon Jesus used on the cross!) the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior (just like Jesus on the cross who had every right to just call legions of angels to come and smite all those stupid fools who were killing the King of the Universe because they were blind and stupid and stubborn! Just like Jesus on the cross who could so easily have risen up sorta' like Gandalf when he would get really tall and make the sky grow dark...Jesus coulda' so risen up and made His biggest meanest angry-God voice and made tornadoes swirl and storm clouds crack as He put us IN OUR PLACES! But, no! That would have been a spanking! What Jesus said was, "Father forgive them for they don't know what they're doing!).
And, none of this can happen if a woman is raised being spanked and punished for her sins! If a woman is raised in a home where she is powerless and her silence and submission only serve to protect her from the punitive hands of her parents, she will grow up to resent being silent and resent being submissive when being wronged. She will grow up to resent the power of submission...she will grow up to resent this whole passage and want to explain it away because it makes her feel bad like she did as a child...not powerful. And, satan will have won.
None of this sin slaying that Jesus did on the cross can happen in a woman's home and life if we are focused on being outwardly powerful (like men). If we're concerned with "women's lib" and "being equal" and worry about things like pink vs blue, like making sure we let our sons play with dolls and our girls play with cars so that women are "equal!" If we wanna insist that women are the same as men we rob ourselves. We're powerful in a way that men aren't and can't be. We're powerful in a way that the Power Rangers and bullets aren't and never will be!
Jesus could have used angelic "Power Rangers." Jesus could have called an army of big strong burly angels with huge weapons of mass destruction! Jesus could have used some huge dangerous weapon we've never even dreamed of...some weapon to "shoot at" or overpower satan/sin...but He didn't. Those are men's weapons. Those are worldy weapons. And, those weapons are powerless against sin...as is spanking.
Jesus fought the biggest war of history...and He fought that battle with a beaten and broken body that was weak physically...but strong in a way satan could not stand up against. And, we women are the fragile and "weak" sex. We physically need a man's strong body to "protect us" and open the pickle jar for us...cut down trees and split logs for the fire. ;) We need a man who can stand physically in the doorway of our home and protect us when we sit and nurse and care tenderly for our young. But, just as a man can fight off a physical attacker in a way we can't...we women are strong and powerful in a way a man isn't and in a way satan can not defeat when we stand guard at the door of our homes. We are both powerful and precious like fine china...or a fully restored 58 Chevy convertible. Not that I dream of having one of those. (sigh)
Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
Women are actually the most powerful and heavily armed warriors on the planet. And, when we fully accept that...we become are precious in God's sight. <dreamy sigh>
Spanking our daughters disarms them and robs them of ever being precious in that way to God. Spanking our daughters trains them that "submission" gets them nowhere. Submission is something bad that is lorded over them and gets them no victory. Spanking them instills a yearning to "be in control" in them. Spanking models for them that when someone sins against you you don't submit to it...you punish. You fight back.
Jesus was submissive to the Father...and because of this He's been raised up higher than any other...so that every knee shall bow to Him!
1 John 4:14
We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.
In order for women to be able to fully exercise their calling and use their power in the world they have to be raised in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And, the men they marry must be raised the same.
If a man is raised in a punitive environment he's not going to love his wife as Christ loved the church and he will not appreciate or empower his wife to lay down her life for the family like Christ did.
Training up children in a punitive spanking environment dis-empowers the husband and the wife and separates the "one flesh." It separates the man and the woman and puts them at odds against each other rather than working as a team against sin/satan so that they spend their whole marriages trying to make sure the other "pays for" the sins they've committed against them and satan...has a free pass into the house.
The biggest loser when a future men and women are spanked...is Jesus.
113. Which one of these guys would bend a child over his knee and cause them pain and make them cry?
Think about it. There are Christians out there who believe you are believing a false doctrine if you do NOT believe that using "the rod" on your children is of God. There are Christians who have accused me of "thinking with my worldly mind" because I asserted that spanking is NOT God's will. There are Christians who have asked me "what god" I serve because I don't believe in striking my children.
So, basically...when faced with Satan and Jesus...there are Christians out there who believe...that when you ask the question, "Which one of these would strike a child?" They believe that Jesus would strike a child...and the devil would not!!!!
Christians believe that Jesus hits children.
Christians believe that you are MORE like Jesus if you hit children.
Christians believe that satan would NOT hit children!!!
Christians believe that you are LIKE THE DEVIL if you DO NOT hit children!?!?!
If you ask me...that's totally effed up. To put it as mildly as I can!!!!!
I think there's the possibility that some would object to this one because Jesus, obviously, wouldn't "hit" a child but would "discipline" them (in their minds.) But, do you really think that Jesus, the Living Word, would ever "have to resort" to a spanking? You think He would run out of words? If Jesus ever "ran out of other options" and "had to resort to a spanking" He wouldn't have ever hung there on the cross.
James 3:17-18
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
114. There is no virtue in obedience based in fear. Some may think that comparing whether or not Jesus or satan would strike a child is unfair. They'd be quick to point out that it's not just that satan wouldn't maybe "hit" the child...but he would be luring that child into further misbehavior while Jesus would strike the child to "teach them a lesson."
But, think about that. Satan...does he knock people over the head and "make" them to do wrong? You know yourself that if he did, those doing his bidding could hardly be even considered "guilty." If I hold a gun to your head and make you take all the money out of a cash register and give it to me...how would a jury look at you?
So, why do we think that God looks at the forced "good" behavior of our children as any more valid than that?
If children obey because they've been "taught to mind mom and dad!" or "because they know what they'd have comin' to them if they didn't!" there is no virtue in that. That good behavior isn't springing from a free choice and therefore is robbed of all virtue.
115. Sometimes being spanked does the opposite of "beating the devil" out of them as it actually "forces" our children into sin.
James 4:17
Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.
Because the Holy Spirit speaks to us as individuals, there will be times that the child will be "told" to/not to do something by the Holy Spirit that the parent sees differently. Because of the looming fear of punishment that the parent has over the child, sometimes, the child is going to choose to/not to do what the parent wants rather than what the Holy Spirit has told them to do because of that.
The parent has become a stumbling block. Remember what it says about that??
Matthew 16:6-8
...whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!
116. It teaches your child to base their decisions on fear. If your child has been trained to do this or not do that "or else they'll get a spanking" then their primary decision making tool will be, "Will this get me a spanking or not." This places "fear" and avoiding pain as their highest priority.
Romans 14:23
...whatever is not of faith is sin
Animals spend their lives navigating their way thru life based on fear. They hide. They live in constant fear. Jesus didn't die so that we could live like animals...but came to set us free.
117. Spanking is unkind. The Bible tells us that "it is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance." God is my father. He is my example how to parent my child. God leads me to "be good" through His kindness. I tell my children that "hitting isn't nice." It's not. It's not kind. Spanking is unkind. Spanking is not how God wants me to lead my children to "repentance."
Proverbs 3:3
Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart.
Proverbs 19:22
What is desirable in a man is his kindness
Hosea 4:1
...the Lord has a case against the inhabitants of the land, Because there is no faithfulness or kindness or knowledge of God in the land.
Hosea 12:6
Therefore, return to your God, observe kindness and justice, and wait for your God continually.
Micah 6:8
He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?
Zechariah 7:9
“Thus has the Lord of hosts said, ‘Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother
Romans 2:4
Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?
Colossians 3:12
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;
Titus 3:4
But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,
1 Peter 2:2-4
...like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.
2 Peter 1:5-9
Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control,perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.
For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins.
Some who believe in inflicting physical pain on children to teach them are quick also to point out the verse, "behold the kindness and severity of God..." And, you may way to say, "yeah, but..." But, the child needs "discipline"...but...just a reminder that "discipline" is NOT a synonym for "punishment" first of all...AND...Galatians says:
Galatians 5:22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against these things there is no law...
Against these things...patience, kindness, gentleness...THERE IS NO LAW.
There is no law that tells you it's OK to be unkind or not gentle with your child.
There is no law in the Old Testament that tells you to take a weapon intended for use on predators and to strike your child with it. It's not kind. It's not patient or gentle. Spanking is not gentle. Spanking...even lightly leaves the spanked area reddened. More often than not it leaves little welts and a crying child flooded with stress hormones. It is not gentle or kind and there is no law in the Bible that tells us to to be unkind.
Believing that the Bible has a law to tell us to spank our kids is simply wrong.
118. All of the qualities of an abusive relationship between adults are the qualities of the spanking relationship. If it's abuse between two adults...it is abuse between a parent and child.
Signs of being in an abusive relationship...
- he uses of physical force when he wants you to do what he wants
- he uses threats of physical force force
- he will verbally abuse you (speak disrespectfully/impatiently, curse, call names, degrade, criticize)
- you feel afraid to disagree with him
- you feel ignored or dismissed by him
- you feel unheard and unable to communicate what you want
- he is in control (tells you what to do, where to do, what to wear, etc.)
- you have no personal space and have to share everything with him
- you feel isolated
- you feel stifled and trapped
- he makes all the decisions
- he lies to you
- he blames you for all the problems in the house
- you feel pressure to change to meet his standards
- he pushes, shoves, pinches, hits, punches, kicks or otherwise hurts you
- you constantly have to justify what you you, where you go, and who you associate with
- he presss you to do things you're uncomfortable with
- you find yourself making excuses for your partner's behavior
And, the only way to ensure that your daughters (and sons) know that these things are abusive when they are adults is to not experience them when they're a child.
119. Discipline ≠ Punishment and I am called to discipline my child.
Hebrews 12:11
All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.
120. There is no way anyone could come up with this many Biblically, scientifically, and rationally supported arguments TO spank. If spanking was God ordained...there would be twice this many reasons TO do it and twice as much evidence to prove that it's GOOD...because God is good...and everything He makes...when He looks at it He can say, "Behold! This is very good!" Spanking has nothing but negatives...and since God is good...it cannot be His idea...
